This thing weighed a fucking ton |
When I was a kid, my dad bought one of the earliest VHS
recorders, a groovy new toy for a young lawyer and his new family. In a short
period of time, we had accumulated an extensive collection of tapes. As this
was around the late seventies to the early eighties, the market for home video
purchasing was not yet being exploited, so most of our collection had been
taped off of television. My parents would tape movies and mini-series for
themselves (anyone remember The Thornbirds?) and animated specials for me and
my brother.
There were a few classics like It’s the Great Pumpkin
Charlie Brown and The Bugs Bunny Road-Runner Movie, but there were also some
others such as The Berenstain Bears Christmas Tree, and the ponderously
assembled Bugs Bunny Howl-Oween Special, that did not become perennial favorites.
Still, I held on to some of these, not because Raggedy Ann and Andy's Halloween special
aged particularly well, but because of the commercials.
More often than not, my dad would avoid taping the commercials,
but he couldn’t always be bothered to hang around and watch the Cat in the Hat with
his finger hovering over the pause button just so we would not have to later be
subjected to the worst that Madison Avenue had to offer. Consequently, though I
could give two shits less about the specials, I held on to these tapes because
of the hilariously dated ads for candies and kids’ cereals, board games that no
one remembers, and with a political ad for Joe Lieberman’s failed 1980
congressional run thrown in as a bonus.
Emmanuel Lewis will kick your ass |
My favorite of all time was the ad for Reese’s Peanut Butter
Cups. It featured a young blonde man eating an over sized piece of chocolate,
strutting down the street to the tunes of the day as played on that brand-spankin’
new invention, the Walkman. Coming in the opposite direction is a girl, also
wearing headphones, who is inexplicably eating peanut butter out of the jar. The
pair collide and, in a moment that would make Freud blush, the young man’s
chocolate plunges into the young woman’s peanut butter. They bicker for a bit
before discovering how pleasing the combination is, as a strange old man appears
and hovers behind them holding up a packet of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, the
mass-produced version of the fruits of their tryst.
Am I insane for thinking that the sexual subtext was
probably deliberate? After all, it is not as though the young woman plunged her
chocolate into his peanut butter. I imagine that the agency involved would try
to maintain the innocuousness of their campaign. However, I don’t think it
takes a person with a particularly dirty mind (though, yes, I am one) to see
right through that. It’s just so blatant. It’s almost as if they are saying “You
got your penis in my vagina!” “You got your vagina all over my penis!”
A few years ago, I stumbled upon this earlier version of the
ad, apparently broadcast in the 1970s. I could riff on this, but I won’t. With
the subtext of the 1980s version pretty much well established, this iteration
makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.
I guess I have nothing more to say on this… Oh, my lost
innocence…